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Archive for the ‘feeling’ Category

The Afterlife

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

The best thing about the afterlife is that you can’t reason about it, because life after death is not pertinent to our domain of knowledge. Any “existence” after life would not be existence as we know it, and we wouldn’t be able to define it because it occupies a different realm (not in the supernatural sense, but in the sense of a knowledge base).

When we die, our physical manifestations – what we call our bodies (the physical medium that contains our consciousness and the vehicle that we can most precisely control) – cease to exist. The body disintegrates, and our earthly consciousness — which, I’m beginning to believe more and more strongly, is the recallable continuity of our interaction with the world that surrounds us — ends as well because we are no longer capable of interacting with the world or creating memories. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that there is nothing after death. We just can’t define what it is.

The way I like to think about the afterlife is an extrapolation of a feeling that sometimes overcomes me, a feeling so immense that I momentarily forget what I am supposed to be doing, where I am, even who I am. It’s just a flash, but in that moment I am pure existence.

The Fall of the Scientific Method

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

I believe the Scientific Method is, if not becoming irrelevant, at least losing its prominence in discourse throughout the world. As anything in the history of the world, this is just a cyclical movement, but I think we’re about to witness an inflection point.

Biased by the local version of history, we forget that the Scientific Method is only one possible paradigm of reasoning, one that particularly suited humans who found themselves in the Age of Invention and Exploration. When the number of phenomena being discovered is large and each strengthens the fundamental theories put in place, the Scientific Method feels adequate.

The Scientific Method is — my amateur definition follows — the process of rejecting theories through observed contradictory experimental evidence. Synonymous with modern science, it can’t prove anything about the world we live in. It can only evaluate theories for how bad they are.

People tend to forget that even the Ancient Greeks — our model of scientific thought — believed in reasoning that is a combination of the supernatural (mythos) and the rational (logos). For a long time, we have overemphasized the latter, dismissing alternative approaches to understanding reality, but as science turns strange and more distant, I believe we will begin looking for a basis of our understanding that isn’t rooted strictly in observation and rejection of theories.

Science is turning strange. To see this, let’s go back to 1905. The world was a fundamentally different place. All motion in the Universe was governed by a few simple rules first formulated by Newton. Mathematicians believed that every statement about the world can be proven or disproven (shown to be false, of course). We just learned to fly. We built automobiles and submarines, harnessed electricity, and were beginning to understand radioactivity. Maxwell unified our understanding of most of physics into an elegant set of equations.

Today, our laws — even the simple laws of motion — are more complicated. Sure, at low speeds they reduce to Newton’s beautiful equations, but this nonlinearity doesn’t give us much confidence that there is no third-order consequence, and beyond, that we’re simply yet unable to detect. Perhaps the rules that govern how the universe works are unknowable. Moreover, universe is already known to be unpredictable, in addition to being possibly inscrutable. Particles are in a number of states at the same time. The more we refine our models following observations which refute our hypotheses, the more science begins to look like, well, magic. And while we don’t readily admit it, I (and I am sure you, too) feel disappointed by it.

Science is also turning more distant. Many of the advances in physics don’t concern us beyond the drama of popular science narrative. It’s unlikely we’ll directly benefit from the discovery of the Higgs particle, but even if we eventually do (after all, DVDs wouldn’t be possible without Einstein, and his revelations seemed “unpractical” enough), we are adding layers of indirection between our theories and our lives.

Instead of focusing on observations, we can listen to our intuition (what feels right?), our sense of beauty (what is elegant?), or even simply focus more on fundamental phenomena and reason about what is not easily unobservable (what is entropy, exactly? What could the underlying cause of the Universe increasing in complexity be?). Doing this would not necessarily be equivalent to a rejection of logic — I simply advocate for us to go back to the axioms that we base our knowledge base on and revisit them. Once we settle on our axioms, we should absolutely use logic to deduce truths about the world. BUt that first step is crucial in defining what kind of truths we will discover.

Why would the rejection of the Scientific Method be good for us? For one, it may actually teach us something about the universe. Instead of tweaking existing theories, which are increasing in complexity and losing their elegance, we may be able to think outside the box: take an alternative approach, rethink everything we know about the universe, and settle on a much more intuitive and legible understanding.

To See the Future

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

If you could see the future, how would such an ability manifest itself? How would you describe “seeing” the future, especially given that the future is much less one image as a superposition of an infinite number of probable images? How do we take into account the “observer” effect — where the future of some events drastically depends on what the one seeing it decides to do in the next few seconds?

I imagine that seeing the future would be just like seeing in a classical sense, with a few exceptions. First, you could focus on some time in the future (just like you focus on a particular element in your field of vision) and that would reveal the state of reality in that point in the future. It would be pinpoint-, but not distance-accurate (just like focusing is): you can focus on a particular existing element well and almost instantaneously, no matter how close or far it is, but you couldn’t focus on an element at a particular distance. Similarly, when seeing the future, you would be able to focus on a particular event, but not necessarily on a particular point in time (and you would only know by and large what time this event is going to happen).

Moreover–and more importantly–possibilities in the future would manifest themselves as blurry spots. If something was a certainty, you would see it as sharp and distinct. If something was a possibility, it would blur with the other possible outcomes. For example, the sun rising tomorrow is a certainty so as you focus on the event of the run rising tomorrow you would see it sharp and distinct. But, say, your dog might be hit by a car in a week so it would appear in your visions of the subsequent future as blurry. The further out you “focus”, the more blurry it will be.

This model comes to a beautiful conclusion in the case of the above mentioned “observer” effect. As you focus on the future event that depends heavily on a decision you make, the details in the event will shift from blurry to more defined as you think more or less heavily of making one decision relative to the other. In a way, you will be able to “focus” your vision of the future by committing to certain decisions.

Maps

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Perhaps I inherited the love of them from my seafaring father. Perhaps my precise, visual, mathematical mind picked up on their usefulness. Perhaps I am OCD. No matter what the reason, I’ve been fascinated with maps every since I was little. I just finished preparing for my trip to Spain and–in what has become an obligatory part of any preparation–I saved the maps for each of the places I’ll be visiting.

I love the fact that reality can be represented in such an intuitive, instantly valuable way. I can look at the map and quickly orient myself, figure out the direction in which I should go. A good map doesn’t need a lot of detail to be informative — all it takes to understand a map is some simple pattern matching, at least one (well, arguably, two) piece of information to match the real life. Maps are, in my view, the original virtual reality.

I have some strong opinions about maps. First, a map should always point in some invariant direction, ideally north. Our minds can pattern match much more easily if they are presented with the same image each time. Maps must not be too cluttered — one of the most painful features in the iPhone 3G version of Google Maps is the Traffic overlay which completely covers all information about the road underneath the overlay. Good maps should be visually pleasing, which is one reason I feel in love with the beautiful Google maps in contrast with the ugly alternative. A good map also uses a number of tricks to present the many dimensions that a map usually has to reflect — colors, labels, symbols and overlays are just some of them.

There is probably also something about how maps easily provide comfort. When I have a map on me, I never feel lost. I feel in control, and in command — after all, I have the territory charted so it cannot surprise me. This is also why having maps on my mobile phone is one of the most valuable aspects of it.

Did you notice how everyone has their favorite map? Either of a real place, or some treasure map they drew when they were little. In fact, having thought about it, it’s not just me: a little bit of map-worship is probably in all of us.

What makes a Moment?

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

I look back and remember moments in my life — seemingly random, brief periods of time — which I somehow attach a high sentimental value to. In themselves they are irrelevant but they unlock my memory of a state of mind I was in during that moment. Those moments truly are arbitrary — for example, one of the strongest moments is linked to my memory of reading a local newspaper, sitting at a chair at my grandfather’s place. The moments are very distinctive and highly discrete.

I haven’t been able to figure out why this specific moment and not, say, the one that happened just after it, helps me unlock my memory. I did make two observations — that enough time must pass to make a moment (the most recent moment happened to me three years ago), and that the time early in my life comes with more moments than the time later in life. The former makes sense — enough time needs to have passed for the memory not to be fresh and easily recallable. As for the latter, I think it has to do with the fact that I perceived the world very differently, say, 20 years ago than I did 5 years ago, so it’s more likely for a moment that happened early in life to unlock a deeper set of memories which are so unrecognizable (since I had a very different personality then).

I wrote down the moments I could think of — there is a couple dozen of those — but I don’t like to go back to that list. There is something precious about “stumbling upon” these moments, as a chain of reasoning takes me back in time to ultimately land on one of those moments. Once I start thinking about the past, these special moments act as attractors — I’m more likely to converge my thinking on a moment than not.

It’s somewhat disappointing that the moments come at a decreasing rate. I really enjoy reminiscing about my state of mind and enriching the set of recollections like this would allow me to keep these memories fresh. Just like with a favorite song of yours, you can recall them too much and lose their magic.

Humanities, the enemy of Science

Monday, October 11th, 2010

When I was younger, I strongly favored sciences and mathematics over humanities. I didn’t enjoy the seeming arbitrariness in what I was learning about humanities, and the fact that what was rewarded didn’t seem conceptual but factual (in sciences and mathematics, I felt I was taught the concepts and the way to derive facts from them; in humanities, I was supposed to regurgitate the facts I was taught — it seemed like memorization). Moreover, I cringed at a thought of the imprecision of humanities (what do you mean there is no exact answer?); if there was no verifiable, universal answer, how can we agree on anything, let alone be assessed on our knowledge of it? Finally, I could not for the life of it understand why everyone around me seemed to prefer humanities. Did people really prefer memorizing dates and causes of wars to deriving results from relatively few theorems?

As I grew older (and as I learned to take deep looks at my observations), I discovered a certain complexity to the above picture which made it not so obvious anymore. First, I realized that mathematics, sciences and humanities (in that order) are disciplines on a continuum and that continuum has several important characteristics. I already knew that as you move from the former to the latter,

The disciplines become less precise and exact, that is, it becomes harder to make statements which can be validated, verified, and agreed upon

I had also observed long time ago that

They seem to require more information for the same amount of conclusions drawn (memorizing many causes of wars vs knowing only a few mathematical formulae)

However, what was a relatively new realization (and what gave me a rather powerful aha moment) was that

They are increasing in complexity because of the systems they are trying to describe and whose behavior they are trying to predict

In retrospect, this last characteristic is pretty obvious, but it has powerful implications: humanities tackle much more interesting (and important) problems. They deal a lot with the human nature, with what makes us us, with inter-personal relationships, with our feelings and intangible abilities (such as the appreciation of the art). In a way, humanities take the world for what it is even if they can’t fully grasp it, as opposed to creating a simplifying model of the world and making exact predictions about it.

Let’s take mathematics, for example. What got me very excited about it was how richly it could talk about the world constructed just from a few assumptions, for example, discuss all numbers existing in nature (and even those that don’t!) by starting with five simple axioms. It could describe an incredibly complex world of geometry by postulating five things (and eight even more complex worlds by tweaking the fifth one). Yes, mathematics is exact — once proven, statements remain proven — but the domain that mathematics deals with is so narrow that it doesn’t really correspond in any meaningful way to the real world; it can’t even get to a kind of complexity we’re dealing with every day.

Similarly, the ethos of all sciences is that they propose and test models based on consistent observations. A model is a gross oversimplification of some real-world phenomenon; again, sciences (in the strict definition of the term) are unable to talk richly about any sufficiently complex phenomenon — in fact, physics (probably the purest of all sciences) chokes on even the simplest (in terms of the amount of complexity) systems — one of the interaction of inanimate matter in the universe.

So instead of thinking of humanities as “weaker” forms of the sciences or mathematics, I started thinking of humanities are their “more ambitious” forms. True, because the complexity mounts so quickly, the specific disciplines we know of as “history” or “economics” are more vague and less precise than the sciences, but fundamentally, the problem is simply much more difficult. Unsurprisingly, more information is required to make the same level of predictions.

Once I realized that the humanities and the sciences are the same conceptual discipline that happens to deals with problems of varied complexity, I realized that while humanities scholars have the humility to point out the inexactness of their disciplines in search for answers to complex problems, scientists don’t convey the flip side (that the exactness of their responses comes at a cost of transforming what’s around us to something simpler. In a way, then, the problem with the sciences is that the apparition of precision creates a dangerous approximation. Moreover, by forcing you to frame yourself in terms of models, sciences tend to be escapist and detach you from your nature; wouldn’t you rather feel the answer even if you can’t write it down, than write down a precise answer to a much more simplified question?

A final strength of humanities is that they don’t constrain themselves to be brittle. In mathematics, out of billions of statements, if you insist on just one to be different, you destroy all of mathematics. In physics, a new discovery may force us to rewrite the textbooks that we have used to teach generations (this has, in fact, happened about a hundred years ago already!). In a way, past results in the sciences are not indicative of future performance. But the lessons of history, even if imprecise, are a pretty good beacon for its future.

The Change of Seasons

Monday, October 4th, 2010

It’s this time of year. Summer is turning into fall, in a process that’s both beautifully gradual (every day gets colder than the previous; every day gets darker than the previous) and beautifully binary (the summer has features that distinguish it very clearly from the autumn).

This past week this change of seasons seemed to be most pronounced. I realized this was because the day began shortening around the time I finish work / eat dinner (and it began shortening the fastest). This creates a sense of uncanniness, something being not quite the same. Two weeks ago the day didn’t seem to get too short. In two weeks I’ll get used to a short day (even though it will continue decreasing). Around now is when I’m noticing the change the most. I love that change; even though it’s going to get colder I am reminded of the warmth of the home, of warm apple cider, of pumpkin flavors, of social gatherings.

Great Music

Monday, September 13th, 2010

Music also has a property of bringing back compressed memories quickly. It symbolizes a particular set of circumstances, a particular company, particular events. Great music is all about the atmosphere it creates. In a way, it doesn’t even matter what it is — the actual melody or lyrics are just a medium; what matters is what it connotes.

The best music is nondescript.

That funny feeling (part II)

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

I’m continually impressed by the complexity of the mind and how it can make us feel. I’ve previously described some of the overwhelming feelings I sometimes get — they are profound, uncontrollable, and — most times — difficult to describe. One that baffles me the most comes to me rarely, once a year at most, for no apparent reason, and took me years to try to pin down, characterize. The first time I felt it was when I was about seven; I was sick with pneumonia, but subsequent times were relatively random and didn’t necessarily accompany any particular extenuating circumstance.

The best way I found of describing it is this: I feel like a boulder and a marshmallow at the same time.

On one hand, I feel heavy, unable to move. It’s almost as if my body was suddenly filled with some dense matter — I can imagine it to feel like drowning but without the unpleasantness of the actual drowning. On the other hand, in a way, I feel light; I feel like I’m made of a soft, cushy substance and that I fill the room. I’m like a balloon that’s overinflated and fills the room I’m in.

Usually the feeling lasts for a few seconds, maybe ten at most. I wonder if I can learn to recreate that feeling on demand (maybe with hypnosis?). And, most importantly, I wonder what the significance of that feeling is. Why does it come about?

I wish we understood more about the brain.

Powerful dreams

Monday, August 16th, 2010

I wish I could remember my dreams more; they are fascinating. I keep discovering new states of mind, new feelings through the dreams I’m having.

Recently I woke up, panting. Just a moment seconds earlier, out of nowhere, a feeling came to me in my dream. I dreamt of something indescribable. It was akin to being in the presence of pure evil, something that permeated me yet had no form of its own. It was terrifying.