Two goals, really. I don’t like multiple goals (because we should really only have one goal; other goals should derive from it) but I don’t feel too bad about it (I’ll explain why).

(1) Find my life goals. (2) Prove to myself that I can execute on goals.

The timeline is fairly arbitrary; essentially I need enough time to have sufficient data points for (2) and not too much time so that (1) doesn’t drag on. And, specifically, let’s say that the deadline is October 10th (the Saturday after my birthday; the time around my birthday is symbolic).

(1) seems daunting. There is an element of intellect and an element of experience that are important to attempt to find my life goals. I feel that at this point in life I have enough of both (or, rather, enough of experience and still enough of intellect). I’ve been introspecting a lot more in the past nine months than I have been in my life before, and based on the kinds of thoughts I’ve been having in the past three months I feel ready.

The reason why I listed two goals and not one is that (1) becomes simply an intellectual exercise if I can’t follow through on my goals. Hence (2). Technically then I should do (2) first and then (1) but there is synergy in how these will be achieved — I will need to change the way I see and do things in order to do (2) successfully, and thinking about (1) will provide me with a framework to help me in this behavioral modification.

Many thoughts race through my mind. I fact, I wish I had more time to think — in my life, and particularly at work, I often default to my intuition (which, together with common sense, I see as a kind of cache for the thought process) rather than taking the time to step back and think. It’s a pity because (a) I don’t think my intuition is particularly strong and (b) I like thinking.

Recently I started making myself think (and use this blog to record these thoughts and hopefully have other people provide their feedback on them). As I think, my mind naturally collects these thoughts into themes and climbs up the abstraction ladder. Very quickly I get to the metaphysical, the highly abstract concepts and then I get lost and confused. I start doubting everything and asking myself existential questions. This is why I really want to come up with some kind of framework to help me think about the right things, so I don’t feel this anxiety.

I mentioned already that I think the most important thing to think about is one’s purpose in life. I still need to prove it (to myself), though, and hopefully come up with a way to do this well. And perhaps purpose is not even the most important thing to think about, perhaps there is something even more fundamental.

The search for the most fundamental question is on.

The first stage of this search will be for me to sieve through the chaos of my thoughts and extract bits of information which might be useful in my thinking. For example, I intuitively feel that there are some principles I want to abide by. Maybe these are the wrong principles, but it’s a good start. Once I have all this stuff written down, I’ll stare at the piece of paper and then actually think about the framework. It’s just really hard to do with a blank piece of paper in front of me.

The most important thing each one of us should be doing now is figuring out our purpose in life. Some of us have already done it; I envy you. It’s difficult and time-consuming, but not as difficult and time-consuming as one may think, which is what I realized a couple of weeks ago.

Why is it so important to know your purpose? Because purpose allows you to define your values, which allows you to define your goals in life, both the distant, momentous ones, and the small, short-term ones. Once you know your goals you can come up with a plan for what to do, and finally do it. So purpose, in my view, flows all the way down to everything we do. If you ever tried to assess your actions, wondered what the right thing to do is, hesitated before making a decision, you have indirectly tried to figure out your purpose (only at a much lower level).

At first finding purpose seems like a daunting task because it forces us to introspect, to think carefully about our wants, to define our philosophy, to face our fears. It seems so removed from our daily life that we underestimate its importance and choose not to be bothered with such abstract ideas as a purpose. Most of us have probably never asked ourselves this question.

While there’s no right or wrong answer, I believe each one of us can find an answer that will be consistent with our intuition and deeply satisfying. I haven’t found my purpose yet but I imagine that I’ll be much happier once I do; I’ll be able to motivate myself more easily, be more confident, and feel a sense of pride. Most importantly, that annoying little voice in my head that keeps asking “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing? Are you sure you’re not wasting your life away?” will go away.

There is no right or wrong answer but there is a right and a wrong approach to finding it. You can’t do it arbitrarily, by guessing or reading it in some book. You can’t ask your parents, your spouse, or your peers. The answer has to come from you alone.

I’ll be harping on about this more in the future because I think it’s unbelievably important. For now, I’ll say that I started thinking about my purpose, and I believe that I will figure it out.